Walking and Talking and Blogging

20150905wheresthepathDidn’t work. Walking and Talking and Blogging all at the same time is making blogging a lot harder. Not even remotely easier like it was supposed to. I thought that my Samsung and I were speaking the same language. It was really cool, walking casually around and just talking to myself. I hardly ever looked at the cell phone. I just looked to make sure the speaker thing was still recording. I felt like the Starship Enterprise captain as I explored a new planet surface. There are so many low hanging branches and blackberry vines and various excrement, surveying my surrounding while walking is the safest way to go.

Not only is there no punctuation in my talking blog, but some of the word replacement, the misunderstood word comes out totally different. And to top it off, my Smart Ass Phone will then predict phrases, so I get some off the wall sentences that I know I didn’t say. I’m not even sure where to start. I don’t know if anyone would be interested in the very, very strange interpretations. I just want to make sure readers know that there are some perhaps offensive phrases that I didn’t write. Before I continue to make it seem even stranger than it may be. Not having more than two paragraphs also make it harder to edit.

wp-1441564711088-1I’m hoping to figure out how make a talking blog easy. I can’t seem to remember how to make a paragraph verbally. Paragraph only gets me the word Paragraph. I don’t think I have anything to say about Paragraphs except they make writing a lot easier to read. Sometimes I just can’t get the recording to start or don’t realize the words have indeed been written, like getting the date twice. I’ve already forgotten if the magic phrase is paragraph return or carriage return. I can’t imagine carriage, but maybe.

Maybe, the voice recognition picked up the Blue Jays. Upon stepping outdoors with the dogs, I scattered a few Scrub Jays. They can’t fly and not screech. I think they were cursing and some of the swears written on my cell phone were from the birds. I must have F-Bomb_Logodisturbed their eating frenzy. There’s so much fruit that needs to be eaten. I’m curious to know what word I speak that makes the voice catching program write F***. It took me five minutes just to type the three asterisks. Yes, I do drop a F-Bomb here and there; there’s quite a few in my journal, but that’s for my eyes only. I hardly ever swear. Car and Journal are the only places.

What really blew my mind as I scanned the text to see how much of what I recorded was worth repeating, like cutting the fat away from the meat, was the bleeped out P****. Really? What word could have caused this transcription. Plums? I did write a lot about plums. There are a lot of plums on the ground and there is one area of the walk that’s got a slight decline and it can get slippery with plum guts.

20150901plumsThere are more guts outside with the plums than in the talking blog. Some of it just causes me to scratch my head. For example, is there anything you can make out of this gibber age?

“The press those big book of course the dogs go jason this is a great way to start walking the book was able to get away easily you know were enjoying a nice warm how to fold nissan you so funny videos don’t know if a ring anything I was walking dogs”

Yes, I was walking the dogs. No book. Who is Jason? Looks like I dropped the book or perhaps Jason did. I was enjoying a nice warm walk; wasn’t too cold nor hot. I had grabbed a fleece jacket just in case. And Sylvia does drive a Nissan, but I don’t remember saying anything about it. Funny videos? What ring?

“I’m not sharing the phone what is a I don’t have to do what’s the address so far so good z dodging tree limbs back in awhile u_c use to really cool with walk with us today.”

20150902_112640No, I’m not sharing my phone with the dogs or Jason or whoever. Neither of us, Sylvia and I that is, have done much work around the property, so all eyes are needed to dodge the low hanging branches and blackberry vines that have slowly taken over the property. Do coach roaches and blackberries get along? I just realized I have forgotten how to spell that roach bug that I hate and still have nightmares about them in the Boston apartment, though the Rat in the alley on same said apartment is nastier.

“sesame no chords and the same time I doubt it so I might have just freakin awesome pictures.”

I wouldn’t mind a fresh sesame bagel, but hold the chords. I much prefer cream cheese. While attending Pacific University in downtown Eugene, I ate a fresh bagel every day. Bagel Sphere? That’s only been eleven years ago. Did I catch a picture. I never write freaking. I never say it either, though I will confess to littering the word Awesome. Guilty of redundancy.

I must have been nice and warmed up by the time I started recording the second paragraph. Somehow I had even figured out how to get the Smart Ass Samsung to give me another paragraph. Good thing I’m writing on the lap top now, though I’m so robbie-rossengrossed into  this writing that I forgot completely about the Red Sox game. Not much of a game. My older laptop is showing me the game. My antique Desktop won’t get past 33% in loading MLB.TV, the only way I can see my Red Sox. Beating up on the Phillies can’t be helping the Red Sox moral. Beating a team that’s even worse than the Red Sox doesn’t say much. Back to my talking blog, though it could be renamed delirium. I just don’t know where these words came from.

“Does easy drawing a picture of you and Abby reading each other for the morning okay so right now better watch out for the little plums I’m in that area literally stepping on them but it’s getting to the point where simulated and its gonna be then again slippery plum jam going on and now,”

oliver-reading-ODBI don’t draw. Abby’s a dog and doesn’t read, though I do read her emotions through her eyes. And I already wrote about the little plums. I know the feel, the texture of a plum under foot. Barefoot is not recommended for my yard. Deer. Dogs. Droppings of all kinds are plentiful; doesn’t matter how much time I run around with the scooper. Good thing I have lots of blackberry bushes to toss. Could be a track and field sport.

“stretch with a little parade refuse ahead looking for something to chase Abby and Lucy the girls you’re looking for something to eat we are near another plum trees so this is it this is where I have to keep him from eating any of them almost impossible task no more good girl no more eating.”

20150905paradeI did describe the walk as a little parade. That’s how we walk. Ricky’s always in the lead, looking for something to chase. Of course, right after I write this, Ricky’s in the rear with me and not in the front…

As we passed by another plum tree, I continued to speak my blog, but I was also trying to keep Abby and Lucy from sucking up all of the plums. So, I was transcribing a lot of no’s to the dogs. This is an almost impossible task. Yesterday after telling Abby for perhaps the fifth or sixth time to stop eating plums, I had to reach down her throat and pull out plum pulp. I didn’t have a a towel or anything and wasn’t about to wipe my hand on my pants, so Abby got to wear the remains. I don’t think I remembered to wash her off…

Well, there was more to the talking blog, but I think I have taken up enough of your time.

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