Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Think about the word Could. How often do you say the word? Write the word could? The word could strikes me as not being much of a word. It’s a maybe word. There’s no commitment with that word. Now by saying I would. I have a higher chance of following through with action.
There are a few words in my lexicon that I’m trying to get rid of. Trying, I think, was one of the words. The phrase, “I think” is definitely one of the catch-all phrases that just brings doubt and hesitancy into my life. The word just isn’t on the list until now. Take out the just in the above sentence and it confirms that doubt and hesitancy is brought into the picture.
Another phrase that I would like to eliminate. I will eliminate is never. Never is a mighty big catch-all phrase. Why paint myself into a corner? Chances are great I will never eat lima beans again, but there’s no guarantee there. I know our taste buds change as we mature, but because I am on the other side of the maturing hill, losing senses is more my speed.
While I lament on the things I want, I mean will be working, I also want to pat myself on the back for working through one behavior. I’m applauding myself for something that I have worked on for a while, though I have an idea that the work was done in a previous life.
I am really good about not saying yes. When I say yes to something, there’s no a shred of doubt in my mind, and I tell people that I feel gratitude in being asked.
I tend to keep my plate rather free. I get crazy if I’m like a ping-pong ball bouncing all over the place. It’s bad enough that my brain does that; I don’t have enough energy for my body to be doing that as well.
Today, for example, I had an appointment for Neuro feedback at two this afternoon. I would have been done at quarter till three. I had a chiropractic appointment in downtown Eugene, but Eugene’s the kind of city that almost everything is just fifteen minutes away, though this doesn’t count the Beltline or sixth and seventh streets. Second appointment was at three. It was doable when I set it up, but just like using a shoe horn to put on shoes, if the shoe’s too tight to fit and a painful wedge has to do it, why wear those shoes.
I’d already missed one Chiropractic visit, which is what the second appointment was today, and I didn’t want to miss another. And since the neurofeedback session was the shoe-horned event, I came to my appointment early and was able to start the session early.
The relief that I felt when I walked into the chiropractor’s office more than fifteen minutes early was priceless. I didn’t have to panic about being late. I was able to find a parking space close. I try to keep Murphy on his toes. Typically if I am running late or just barely on time, parking spaces are frequently scarce. I have been kicked by Murphy more times than I can count, so why play his game?
Because of the neurofeedback, the chiropractic care, the great day with my pe kids, I’m on cloud nine. Should Cloud Nine be capitalized? I think it should as it’s right up there with Heaven. It is heaven. It’s a proper noun. Why number nine? Are there other numbered clouds. I’d probably prefer Cloud Eleven.
Since I got onto the subject of the Power of the Spoken Word or more precisely, Word Choice, I started to think about Beliefs. My Beliefs.
I was raised Protestant Episcopalians. Raised is too strong of a word. I have no recollections of going.
I was baptized at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Weston, MA. I was confirmed at St. Peter’s. I only remember hating it. Just another thing forced to do. I know we went as a family to the Big Days. Easter. Palm Sunday. The night before Christmas. Did I miss any?
It was probably my father that criticized this young minister of trying to draw young people to the flock by growing his sideburns long. Not sure now as I think about it where was the harm.
All of my sisters were married at St. Peter’s. My mom and father’s funeral services were at St. Peters.
But I’m not exactly sure what it means to be an Episcopalian. I know that the Catholic Church scares me, and I don’t support such male domination in anything.
In my youth, I proudly announced that I was an Atheist. I think I shifted from that into the Agnostic. There’s more elasticity in that believe. I believe in something, but I’m not sure. Hey, sue me if that’s not that right definition of being an agnostic; that’s my definition.
Lately I have found myself listening to religious music on the car radio. Maybe there are more stations than there have been because when I scan stations, I have been landing on the modern rock-style religious song, so not only does the music itself grab hold of me, but the messages are starting to make an impact.
At first, if the song contained Jesus Christ or if it felt too preachy, I flipped stations, but that elasticity in my Belief System has expanded what I desire to listen to.
Not that many days ago, I got my bowling teammates stirred up. Sorry Amy and Bill, but it was a great stirring, I think. Both Amy and Bill are devout Christians, and when I started asking questions about their faith, they had a lot to talk about. I love the passion and excitement that they feel.
I wish I felt that strongly about something. But right now it certainly isn’t religion. I think my biggest hang up is the science of the World and that there’s plenty of religions and Gods that are so much older than Jesus Christ. Why can’t there be room for lots of different Gods? I’m not one to say that Native Americans or other cultures are following a false God. Is it about Ego? I know it’s about Love. My bowling teammates Love me and want me to find my way, but I guess for right now, their prayers will have to suffice.